It's been over a year since I last updated and so little has changed, it makes me wanna puke on a toy poodle. I still work at TG, I still live in the same tiny room with a tiny bed, I still have a tiny hamster named Mary, and I still have approximately 5 friends and no boyfriend. Which is not to say all hope is lost! Wait, yes, yes all hope is lost.

A roundup of latest revelations!

- I woke up at about 4 am this morning and had an intense craving for cocktail sauce. Ya know, the red stuff for shrimp dippin'. I wonder what another delicious use for cocktail sauce would be so I can buy a bottle of it without remorse.

- I've been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo. The grumpy face of classic Charlie Brown is thus far winning the pack! Like Charlie, every time I get hopeful and determined, that slutcunt Sally (metaphor for life, you see) pulls back the football and I land on my chubby ass.

Here is the very first Charlie Brown strip, and it is the saddest thing ever:


- There is a British and Canadian show called How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? (really rolls off your tongue there, HDYSAPLM) in which musical theater hopefuls vie for the roll of Maria Von Trapp in the Sound of Music. How come America gets Elle Woods hopefuls in Legally Blond the Musical on MTV and other countries who respect Julie Andrews as much as I do? By respect, I mean ultimate girl crush. Julie Andrews, you are a peach.

Tonight is the final of A Shot at Love 2 with Tila Tequila. Since I liked Brittany best and she got eliminated, I'm so over it, ya know what I'm sayin'?

I have a lot to say. A year of pent-up blabbering to an online Dear Diary. Oh boy!