Paul Dano is the new Bud Cort.

Outside the grocery store

Dude (points to scar on my leg): Is that a hickie?
Me: No, I fell down and scraped my leg.
Dude: Who helped you up?
Me: My boyfriend. (imaginary, duh)
Dude: Can I call you sometime?
Me: I don't think my boyfriend would like that. (imaginary, duh)
Dude: It's because I'm too dark, isn't it?
Me: No.
Dude: Does he suck on your toes?
Me: No.
Dude: Man, then you ain't got nothing.

Suckville Ho Hum, USA

I still can't figure out if he just didn't want a girlfriend OR didn't want me for a girlfriend. Probably a little bit of both. This makes me sad.

I love how shindigs with a certain group of people (namely, Nick as ringmaster) are guaranteed to have a setups of both Guitar Hero and Nintendo Wii. However, these become even better when you are in a multi-million dollar mansion in Topanga Canyon where porns have been shot. Now if only I could get a drunken board game night organized, then I'd be in business. Soon. Must steal Barry Lander's Pop Culture edition Trivial Pursuit.

I'm tired and poor and hate all men within the greater Los Angeles reason, but content.

Where Da Party At?

I made this little playlist to listen to while I was getting ready to go out. There is no rhyme or reason to it. It's songs I looked at in itunes and said to myself "hey, I wanna listen to these while I am getting ready to go out! Neat!" Hell, they are even in the great mix faux pas of alphabetical order! Oh my stars!

Some of these are really embarassing.

ABBA - Does Your Mother Know?
Alan Menken (Newsies OST) - Carrying the Banner
The Angels - My Boyfriend's Back
Backstreet Boys - Everybody (Backstreet's Back!)
Britney Spears - Toxic
Cobra Killer & Kapajkos - Helicopter 666
The Coup - Laugh, Love, Fuck
Dee-Lite - Groove is in the Heart
Dolly Parton - Jolene
ESG - You Make No Sense
Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way
Gordon Lightfood - If You Could Read My Mind
Gwen Stefani - Wind Up
Harry and the Potters - Felix Felicis
Harry Nillson - Coconut
Harry Potter Band (Wyrd Systers?) - Do the Hippogriff
Journey - Seperate Ways (Worlds Apart)
Justin - Sexyback
Kelis - Bossy
Lady Sov - Random
M.I.A. - URAQT
Princess Superstar - Bad Babysitter
Rihanna - SOS
Rod Stewart - Do You Think I'm Sexy?
Sly and the Family Stone - Everyday People
The Supremes - I Hear a Symphony
Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere
Venga Boys - Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!

Apartment Banter

Rachel: "Hey Chris, does this bra make my boobs look like they are from the future?"
Chris: "What the hell does that mean?"
Rachel: "Oh, I dunno, nevermind." (I think I meant like they are pointy and could shoot lasers.

*3 minutes later*

Chris: "Hey Rachel, do these pants make my junk look like an ancient relic?"

I've been seeing this gentleman lately, but it was just loud and clear that our disconnect between expecations was not going to work out in any favorable way. He couldn't commit any time or energy into a real relationship, but we definitely felt more for one another than some silly fling. It was that grey area that I just couldn't seem to handle, so I told him tonight that for now, we have to just be friends. That way I don't feel so happy when he kisses me and then so sad when he doesn't have time for me. I will be happy when I see him around town, and when he can give me the time and energy I want from a real boyfriend, I may be there waiting. Then again, I may not. What makes me still really sad is that I hope I am still there waiting because he's such a great guy.

Boo hoo.

Harry and the Potters

Harry and the Potters are the sweetest band that sings about only one topic. When you think about it though, it isn't really one topic. It's one universe with many themes that all songs around about: love, loss, school, parents, life, death, etc. It doesn't hurt that they are hot and brothers and their story is that "The idea is that the Harry Potter from Year 7 and the Harry Potter from Year 4 started a rock band. And now, no one can stop the wizard rock." And they play venues such as libraries and book fairs. Bless there hearts.



Mostly though, these songs are wicked catchy. I cannot get the one about Felix Felicis out of my head. Check out http://www.eskimolabs.com/hp/ and http://www.myspace.com/harryandthepotters.

Wiktionary

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Lander

lander

1. A person who waits at the mouth of the shaft to receive the kibble of ore

Mortified

I am going to write something in here for 7 days straight to get into a writing habit again. Mark my (written) words!

This is my highly recommended book o' the week:



Mortified takes real diary entries, letters to friends, school essays, etc. from real people and simply publishes them. There is little commentary added in by the authors, except for maybe to let the audiance know how the situation turned out in the end or give some background on the situation. For the most part, they speak for themselves, which I like because they don't really need that lame, condescending adult self pointing out the faults of that loser in junior high. We can read for ourselves what losers they are!

What do they say that makes me laugh so much? Well, the content alone is hilarious. There is priceless Duran Duran fanfiction, a diary addressed to the fat kids one friend, television character Mr. Belvedere, and imaginary sexual experiences that end in peeing. I also love the way junior high kids write. I haven't used the word french kissing (or even thought about how it was once even such a holy concept) and they must use it once per entry (several times if you're a girl). The k.i.t./l.o.l type of slang was not actually invented by the internet, but by bored teenagers in the 80's it seems.

I can't stop referring to it for all my adolescent angst needs, and have already bought a copy for my parents and lent it to Chris. When Chris is done, I will inflict it on others. It is based on a stageshow where people essentially read aloud these diaries, and we are gonna go in LA at the end of the month. Check it out at a town nearest you! I'm sure it'll be great http://www.getmortified.com/

Honestly, when I was home for the holidays, after reading this, I thought about peaking in old diaries and letters I have hanging around various drawers and I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it. Frankly, I thought I would just be too ashamed and embarassed, maybe even a little saddened (and yet I do stand-up, go figure!) I think Alexandra's bunk bed speaks for itself* (please tell me that still exists and hasn't been chopped into firewood) Thus, I give this entire social experiment even more credit because it actually is truly mortifying to read your 13 year old thoughts.

*where in elementary school and into junior high wrote our likes, dislikes, hearts, flowers, boys, tv shows, music, what's HOT, what's NOT on the wooden frame on the bottom of the top bunk