Al Roker is the new Grimace:



The resemblance is uncanny!

Living on the Edge

I have $0.96 in my checking account.

There is this episode of the Cosby Show that always stands out really vividly in my mind - Cliff eats a sandwich right before bed, even after Claire warns him, thus resulting in a dream involving Muppets.

"Cliff's late-night eating habits finally bite back, with a vengeance! His nightmare is filled with such Muppet characters as overstuffed talking sandwiches, back-talking refrigerator denizens and a bloodthirsty mob of creatures in the operating theater of Cliff's hospital. It seems that Cliff is scheduled to perform a delicate operation for their viewing pleasure, but he somehow winds up on the table as the patient, before waking up safe and sound in his own bed."

The Disagreeable Sandwich Muppet:



I bring this up after having a chocolate milkshake and veggie burger with avocado and cheese approximately 15 minutes before going to bed. Blarg!

I did it, I got the Charlie Brown tattoo. On Thursday evening after work, I called a shop in West Hollywood that had good reviews on Yelp and was open late, I picked Chris up so I could hold a hand, and just went. Yes, it did hurt a bit, but no, it wasn't enough to make me cry or scream in pain. Just wince a bit here and there. I picked the good, fatty part of my arm to do it on. I wanted to surprise my parents when I was down there for Comic Con but the temptation to torture them with this news was just too damn good to resist. They reacted exactly the same when I told them individually (Ohhhh, Raaaaachel, ok, but that's it! No more!) and when they saw the pictures (it's...BIG!) My brother still hides that he smokes cigarettes by showering multiple times a day when he's home for the week.

And the picture!



I couldn't be happier, I really love it and expect to not regret it for a good 15 years.

My 4th of July was surprisingly nice - I went to a co-worker's house party, so I didn't know anyone except for her and her husband, but there was tons of booze and food, two Great Danes named George and Cleopatra, a huge desert turtle named Izzy, a fireworks view from standing on the roof (and trying not to fall and die), and 15 Jewish grad students who have brighter futures than myself.

I saw Wall-E for the second time, and it affected me just as much, if not more, than the first time. The love story gets to me even more than the post-apocalyptic view of earth. The scene where Wall-E and Eve are dancing in space is so gorgeous, like those times in life when you are absolutely, perfectly happy doing such a small thing with just one special person. I really want to get a stuffed Wall-E to sleep with at night and speak in his voice to annoy people.

Last night, at Marlene/Kevin/Noah's place, Kevin asked me "Why Charlie Brown? You explain it to me and I'll see if it matches my theory." After explaining it to him, he replied "Yeah, that's exactly what I said." The evening included me spitting up Diet Coke through my nose and all over my car after Alex made an AIDS joke, me spilling strawberry margaritas all over my dress and floor, and Noah announcing I hadn't flushed the toilet to everyone. Charlie Brown hopes and Charlie Brown failures, indeed.

It's been over a year since I last updated and so little has changed, it makes me wanna puke on a toy poodle. I still work at TG, I still live in the same tiny room with a tiny bed, I still have a tiny hamster named Mary, and I still have approximately 5 friends and no boyfriend. Which is not to say all hope is lost! Wait, yes, yes all hope is lost.

A roundup of latest revelations!

- I woke up at about 4 am this morning and had an intense craving for cocktail sauce. Ya know, the red stuff for shrimp dippin'. I wonder what another delicious use for cocktail sauce would be so I can buy a bottle of it without remorse.

- I've been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo. The grumpy face of classic Charlie Brown is thus far winning the pack! Like Charlie, every time I get hopeful and determined, that slutcunt Sally (metaphor for life, you see) pulls back the football and I land on my chubby ass.

Here is the very first Charlie Brown strip, and it is the saddest thing ever:


- There is a British and Canadian show called How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? (really rolls off your tongue there, HDYSAPLM) in which musical theater hopefuls vie for the roll of Maria Von Trapp in the Sound of Music. How come America gets Elle Woods hopefuls in Legally Blond the Musical on MTV and other countries who respect Julie Andrews as much as I do? By respect, I mean ultimate girl crush. Julie Andrews, you are a peach.

Tonight is the final of A Shot at Love 2 with Tila Tequila. Since I liked Brittany best and she got eliminated, I'm so over it, ya know what I'm sayin'?

I have a lot to say. A year of pent-up blabbering to an online Dear Diary. Oh boy!